Does your partner have roving eyes?

Does your partner's head roll a neat 180 degrees once he spots someone attractive passing him by. Does your partner have a roving eye? Well here's h
ow you can deal with this problem...

Your day starts on a high note as your partner invites you for a special dinner date. As soon as you reach the venue, clad in your designer best, thinking about the moments to come, you find a sexy gleam in the eyes of your partner... but wait, much to your distress, the look's not meant for you, but for that seductively dressed woman sitting on the next table. 'Wandering eyes' – is a problem a lot of couples have to deal with and sometimes this habit makes you question your partner's feelings for you? Our advice - Don't trust the eyes, because your partner just might not be in control of them! Dr. Samir Parikh, psychiatrist, explains, "It's a trait and not a problem, and just as it has been learnt, it can be unlearnt too." So, here's what all you can do to control your partner's letching ways:

Don't over react:

Remember, that your fretting and lamenting is only going to make matters worse for you and your lover. Don't make a big issue out of it. After all, beauty is eye-grabbing. And a little sneak-peak is totally normal.

Counteract tip:

Polish your 'curb appeal' as reacting excessively leads to illusiveness. Be confident about what you have to offer and aim at making your relationship a place that you both want to be. "I remember the case of my friend who, otherwise in an amazing relationship, broke up with her man just because he created a huge fuss every time she exchanged glances with a cute looking guy. She couldn't take his incessant control over her," says Vinay Goswami, an advertising executive. "It is not about how you react, but how you make your partner understand that their eye gazing hurts you. If it is the stereotypical roving eyes, then I think there is nothing much to worry about," says Dr. Parikh.

Be at your seductive best:

It could be that your dressing and the way you carry yourself lacks fire, as a result of which your guy or gal is on constant lookout for greener pastures. Take out that new chic dress from the cupboard that you have been saving for some a occasion.Maybe just a smart hair-do and a cool shave can make your lady swoon over you.

Counteract tip:

It is not a very difficult thing for a woman to use her seduction ability in her favour. "I realised that the best way to make my boyfriend's focus shift from other girls to me was to wear revealing clothes," says Shaalu (name changed on request), a final year student of Delhi University. "Although I am not the kind of person who indulges in skin show, a little bit of harmless skin revealing helped me win back the same twinkle in his eyes that he used to have during the first few months of our relationship," she adds.

Start a dirty conversation: Sometimes, it's not just ultra-sexy to talk dirty in public, but it can also save you from any upcoming trouble. So, the next time your partner ogles at a man/woman sitting nearby, engage them in naughty bedroom talks or describe some of your inner fantasies.

Counteract tip:

Lead your partner into temptations by expressing strong feelings for him/him or use words and connotations that shape up into beautiful sexual fantasies in his imagination. How's that for a distraction? "It always works! Not just when he looks at other girls, but also when he starts to go home and I want him to stay little longer," giggles Aditi Sharma (name changed on request), an HR trainee from a management firm, as she speaks about her boyfriend of 2 years.

Make your bond strong:

Dose your partner stare at guys/girls younger and hotter than you? Then here's some more bad news: With every passing year, more and more men/women will be younger and hotter than you. If your partner wants to give them more attention, there's nothing you can do about it. So, it's best to make the bonds of your relationship strong enough to tackle someone as hot as a Pamela Anderson or a Brad Pitt. "What happens in a relationship depends on the openness of both partners and how strong is the attatchment they share. It is, after all, the mutual understanding that arelationship is based on," says Dr. Barkha Verma, a Mumbai-based psychiatrist.

Counteract tip: Sustaining a relationship requires a lot of endeavor on the part of both the partners. To ensure that your relationship continues, you need to work towards it. Expressing love is important to keep your partner fully focused on you. So, share your innermost desires and deepest feelings with the person you love. "Confronting your partner always helps," says Dr. Parikh, adding, "If your partner is understanding and loves you, he/she will definitely understand."

Ogling or leching:

Does your partner indulge in only harmless letching or does his/her eyes pop-out at the very sight of a ravishing male/female? If your partner is one of those shameless kinds to stop and turn around to get a better view of the hottie passing by, you are in for a little trouble! As Shaalu puts it, "Why would I want to be with a guy who embarrasses girls just the way some roadside guys discomforts me when I pass by!"

Counteract tip:

If your partner continuously leches at your friends in front of you, accept the hint and move on. "The reason my girlfriend parted ways with her ex within two weeks was because of his habit of excessive leching. For him, anyone with a pair of legs was a thing of desire," says Praveen Jauhari, a PR executive.

Confront him/her:

The best way to tackle situations like these is to confront the person responsible and tell him/her that it makes you uncomfortable when they check out others openly. Wait for the reaction of your partner and if he/she lends an unreasonable excuse, like looking at people of opposite sex makes him/her sure of the love for you, don't fall for it. "Confronting you partner definitely helps, but make sure you convey your own feelings, the way you feel about the whole situation and do not talk about what is right and what is unethical," advises relationship counselor Biswajeet Ray.

Counteract tip:

Sometimes your partner may be unknowingly throwing wrong hints at you which if not confronted, may lead to a break up, just like in the case of Prishu Saxena, a BPO employee from Pune. "My girlfriend would often ogle at guys and even pin-point their good dressing style or physique to me. When things started to go beyond the casual looking, I told her about my extreme dislike for her habit. Though she swore it was only for fun, she also understood my sternness in such matters," he says. "This almost led to a break-up," he adds. If their letching is going over-board and is becoming completely unacceptable to you, you must talk about this issue to your partner face to face

Tit for tat:

Sometimes, it's best to give people a taste of their own medicine and make them see the other side of the coin. So, if you're done talking and the ogling still continues, try doing the same at the sight of a rugged man or sexy woman when you meet your partner the next time.

Counteract tip:

The next time you're out with your partner, make eye contact with people of the opposite sex, pass comments on what they're wearing and laugh at their jokes till you partner gets the message. "If I am still with my partner it is all thanks to the advice of my friend who told me to look at other woman purposely in front of my girlfriend," says Avinash Bose, a medical representative from Delhi. "And though I am not that kind of person at all, just after two days of giving attention to other girls, my girl not only realised her mistake, but also promised never to letch again," he adds. If ogling comes naturally to your partner, you should know how to counter their bad habbit and make sure that it does not lead to a situation where your relation suffers. The best bet is a head-on confrontation.