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Coming out of the closet


Overcome with stifling boredom and the chaotic pace of urban life, a lot of modern couples prefer signing the 'open marriage contract'


"We are the original childhood sweethearts. We were the quintessential 'in love' couple – a poster almost for a 'perfectly happy' marital union. Our marriage was filled with intimate moments, memorable holidays, professional success, apart from the occasional door slamming outbursts. Three years ago, my husband returned from one of his oversees trips and confessed to being physically intimate with one of his female colleagues. Initially, I was shattered by his straying after a decade of wedlock. It hurt me that that he had fulfilled his sexual fantasies through another woman. We talked for hours on why he was tempted to cross the line and I realised he wasn't just sleeping around. He was plain tired of the humdrum of monotony in our marriage, the listless moments that were suffocating both of us. I too felt the lacuna and the lack of a physical connect. I guess it's quite common for the lust and passion to give way to a routine love making. After prolonged discussions between us both on the boundaries of our marriage, what were our sexual priorities and our current emotional mindsets, we invited Tara home one evening. She brought her husband along and after a few drinks the conversation veered towards our sexual needs. We shared similar opinions and were all in the throes of a limp marriage that had weathered many storms, but offer nothing excitingly new. The evening culminated in the bedroom which is where we spent many passionate encounters thereafter, stroking each others' deepest intimacies and fantasies," confesses Supriya Sen, a 35-year-old advertising professional. Her marriage, Supriya claims is a 'mutually agreeable, open contract where the presence of a third party is considered unobtrusive, rather spicing up their marital ties." But, she's not the only one inhabiting a twilight zone. Shikha Gupta, a 42-year-old lawyer says she and her 45-year-old partner Pralay have been in the throes of an 'open marriage.' "Pralay's business partner was spending the night at our home one weekend when he was out of town. He accidentally ended up watching a sex video which we'd recorded. Vikas, told me later that he was mighty turned on and it gave him the confidence to take a chance with me as we were home alone," adds Shikha, whose year-long romp continues with her spouse's full consent. "He joins us sometimes and the threesome is wild. We indulge in role play and it's steamier than you imagine. We often take holidays together and I can sense people react with surprise seeing three of us check into the same room. Someone asked me id he your brother-in-law? I smiled. Actually I feel quite guilt free as my husband is fully aware of my sexual needs and having someone else fulfill them occasionally adds to the element of variety that was sorely amiss in our lives," comes her daring stand. In a frenzied urban reality aggravated with high pressure professions, high speed lifestyle choices and a gnawing sense of loneness – does injecting strangers into a space hitherto worshipped as sacred, augment the marital libido? "An open marriage is an alliance where couples don't nurture any reservations about seeking sexual gratification outside their marriage. Here, the spouses share a transparent relationship where there's no being answerable about their sexual preferences," explains psychologist Seema Hingorany.

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